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Monday Quickie - Turn Your Job Interview Into a Successful New Career

9/30/2019

 
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​It’s exhilarating, yet marginally terrifying!
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You’ve got butterflies in your stomach.  Butterflies of excitement, or is nauseous butterflies?  These feelings, normal as they may be, describe two life experiences: job interviewing and dating.  The butterflies of interviewing for a job are often characterized as the same response we get when interviewing.

Ever wondered why a first date feels like a job interview?  Knowing the answer to this can make or break your ability to turn your interview into a successful new career.

They feel the same, seem the same and often produce the same outcomes because a job interview and a date in fact one in the same.

While that may sound like an unpopular parallel to draw hang with me a moment while I explain why dating and job interview is one in the same.  Just as important, why it’s important to understand this and how it impacts your experience and ability to land the job you're interviewing for.

Let’s start with the obvious – people make decisions largely based on feelings. 

Did you know the majority of the time we making hiring decisions based off of one thing – how much or little we like a person.  This has been studied time and time again producing the same outcomes.  We’ll hire someone who may not check every box we need for the job from a function or experience perspective but if we like them as a person we have a tendency to overlook a lack of experience.  We do this because we’re wired to think, operate and act based on our unconscious biases which control our perspectives on race, education, economic status, personality, values, etc.  Simply, if we can relate to the person, we’ll have a tendency to want to hire them more often than not.

Ironically, this is the same exact process we use when searching for a mate and going through the dating process.  When we’re on a date we’re sizing the other person up as quickly as possible to determine ‘is there a reason I should see this person again?’.  Simply, can I relate to them?
We have a positive bias towards people who are similar to us and therefore a negative bias towards people who are different than us.

We don’t often associate first dates and job interviews as one in the same however the more we look into each experience and how we act during them we come to find that both of these human interactions are eerily similar.

How does knowing this information help me with dating and interviewing?  The better we understand the psychology of these interactions, our feelings on them and how we make decisions we can approach each situation with better perspective and hopefully end up on the other side with a better outcome.

Let’s look at the similarities between dating and job interviewing and how each of them impacts our decision making process.

- First Impressions:
This is the holy grail of decision making when it comes to whether or not we like someone initially.  Failure to have a good first impression will more often than not result in a second interaction never making the calendar.  Psychologists call it "thin slicing."  Within moments of meeting someone, we’re deciding and making assumptions on all sorts of things about the other person, from status, intelligence, career success and even promiscuity.  This can be as quick as 7 seconds!  What that means is that everyone is trying to put their best foot forward, which can make things tricky because often times both parties are wondering if the person they’re talking too is the ‘real’ John Doe or the in-character John Doe.
 
- Chemistry:
You know it when it exists.  Things just seem easy.  You laugh more, you tend to lean in closer to the other person more often and you even overlook potential red flags because your gut is already invested in the other person long before your brain has had a chance to catch up.  On the other hand, when chemistry is lacking you feel like you’re on a date from hell.  It’s awkward and painful, causing you to wish you had an escape route pre-planned to get you out of the date or interview.
 
- Communication:
Communication is much more than just verbal, it also includes nonverbal cues like the unspoken word and body language.  Ever been in an interview and eye contact communicated more in 4 seconds what a 10 minute conversation could accomplish?  I’ve been there and it’s a powerful experience.  When our verbal communication is locked in sync it can feel like we’ve been friends for years.  When communication struggles it feels like pulling teeth to have an average conversation.  Both people may be speaking the same language but it seems as if one person is speaking Russian while the other is a Mandarin linguist.  We become bewildered and confused, not exactly a great start towards building a solid relationship.
 
- Commonalities:
“Wow, I went to USC as well.  Fight On!”  “You’re from Handsome Eddy, New York also?  What a small world.” Finding common ground during a first date or a job interview can immediately disarm both parties allowing more casual conversation to occur.  Bonding takes place over the things we find out we have in common such as our love for golf, knitting that fabulous turtle neck sweater for the holidays or volunteering for a similar cause.  It doesn’t really matter what it is so long as we have a shared interest.  Most of us don’t realize when we’re in these moments what we’re looking for is something we already know and like – ourselves.  When we struggle to find something in common with the other party it has a direct negative impact to the chemistry we’re trying to build on.
 
- Perception vs. Reality
As the date and or job interview continues we inevitably begin to ask question to get to know the person in hopes of better understanding them and what they bring to the table.  Many times what happens during these exchanges is we get a glimpse into a person that isn’t very real at all.  I don’t believe people do this on purpose, at least most people, however the fact of the matter is in a first date and job interview we are doing our darndest to put our best foot forward.  As a result, people can often times misrepresent themselves for who they are and what they’re all about.  This is similar to the honeymoon stage where only after a period of time we’ll be able to know if the person today is the same tomorrow.
 
- Emotion
Love at first sight!  Let’s face it, emotion is a part of every first date and job interview, but it can also help us or hurt us in our decisions.  Help us in that if we become emotionally invested in the other person it allows us to overlook small red flags that otherwise might get in the way of us making a decision that could be good for both parties.  Emotions can also hurt us because if we experience something which causes our ego or pride to be damaged we then make decisions that aren’t in the best interest of the interview or date because we’re focused on protecting ourselves.
 
- The Angle
“What’s he really all about?”  ‘The angle’ is described as the feeling when a person has ulterior motives.  This happens both in interviewing and dating.  Candidates are angling to get a job, sometimes presenting themselves in a light which makes them appear more qualified than they really are.  Employers also do the same by upselling the career opportunity to entice candidates to consider the role even though the actual work might not be nearly as glamorous as how it was made out to be, or the company may not be the best place to work.
 
Key Take Away:
People by their very nature go about experiences, such as first dates and interviewing for jobs, in a fairly predictable way.  While the outcome might be out of our control, the way we go into the experience and how we handle ourselves during the experience greatly influences the outcome.  Knowing this information, first dates and job interviews are similar, can help you go through each experience with a broader perspective allowing you to make better decisions for yourself and potential career or company.

Action Item:
Next time you find yourself on a first date or job interview remember that these human experiences are designed to see if it is worth it or not to have a second go around.  The best approach is to just be yourself, as a result you’ll find that your interactions with others are far more valuable to you and the person on the other side of the table.

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Monday Quickie - Turn Around Your Career Slump in 8 Steps

7/1/2019

 
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Twice in my career I've been in a slump.
 
Statistically I'm not sure where that puts me in comparison to others having to do with 'career slumps' however I can openly and honestly admit those two experiences were incredibly challenging and equally as eye opening in my personal and professional development. 
 
What is a career slump?
 
It can be a lot of things. A career slump can be a period marked with stagnation, little to no growth, periods of failure, challenges with our mindset and passion to succeed.  Career slumps are all of these things and perhaps none of them at the same time, it just depends on your situation. A career slump could include mediocrity, boredom for extended periods. Lack luster attitudes and or a general malaise where we 'mail it in' on the daily. These are characteristics of a career slump.
 
What I've learned from my two career slump experiences was it was near impossible to get out of it until I understood what got me there in the first place.
 
I'm nervous talking about this. Being vulnerable on a stage like social media isn't necessarily an enjoyable walk in the park yet I've learned that many others share my same struggles so I choose to offer my experiences in the hope that it helps others. Sharing also helps me understand myself better and become more confident with who I am, what I'm capable of and what my 'why' is for doing what I do.
 
There, right there. That's the answer! Getting out of a career slump isn't some magical experience or event that gets you back on track, its sharing and talking about what you're experiencing, how you're feeling emotionally and being aware of how that's impacting you and your career. Whether we want to admit it or not all of us at one point or another will experience a career slump. No one is perfect and times of strife in this life, more accurately our careers, are inevitable. 
 
The key is to dealing with a career slump is acknowledging it, accepting that it’s real then acting to change it.  Similar to the psychiatric process called the ‘five stages of grief’ how we handle dealing with a career slump is a process of admittance, understanding and then action.  It's a lot of soul seeking and working through your feelings to try and understand your mindset and what brought you to your present place.
 
Here's what has worked for me:
 
1. ADMIT: Recognize and admit things aren't great. Say it out loud.
 
2. PRESENT STATE: Ask yourself how you feel in this moment. Write it down.
 
3. EVENTS: Trace back the last 6 months to a year and unwind your experiences, successes, struggles to understand the chain of events which brought you to your career slump
 
4. DIGEST: Sit on this information for a couple days. How does it make you feel? Do you now know why you're in a slump?
 
5. SHARE: Go find two people to talk with. Share with them your situation and present feelings on the matter. (I know...this is a lot of talk about feelings and emotions. Sounds awful, right. The quicker you can get beyond that the quicker you'll find yourself on the road to confident successful empowered you)
 
6. KEEP GOING: Keep sharing your experience with people. The more the better. You'll begin to notice the more you talk about it the better you feel and more accepting you are of the situation.
7. TRANSITION: Now that you know what's going on start out every day with 20 minutes of mindset activities to get you on the road to a positive you (workout, yoga, meditate, do your favorite activity, listen to music, sit in silence, etc.)  It’s all about cultivating a positive mindset which drives who you are and your actions for the day in front of you. 
 
8. ACT: commit to yourself that the experiences you had leading up to your career slump don’t define who you are.  In fact, they make you better!  Now is when we need to make some changes to our career.  Implement a new office schedule, get rid of work if you’re overloaded, take on a new project to get yourself out of your comfort zone.  Maybe you need to find a new job!  Whatever it is, the new you, the new focus must be different than what you were doing the past month.
 
If we change nothing about our actions and mindset we’ll continue to be who we were during the slump.
 
This eight step process doesn’t happen immediately but you'll begin to notice a change in your overall outlook and mindset after a couple weeks of this. Keep it up, don’t falter. As positivity and empowerment come back into your life so too will your energy to kick ass and take names in your career.
 
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Monday Quickie - Before You Move Into Management, Consider These 5 Things

5/13/2019

 
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​For many Americans career progression is as important to them as the air they breathe.  When we’re at a point in our careers where we’re looking for the next best thing or a new challenge often times it means taking into consideration a management role.

To be successful in management, or leadership for that matter, it requires a completely different set of skills which are typically very different than the skills which were needed to be successful in a staff level role.  When we are a staff employee, meaning we don’t have any direct reports, our focus is to ensure we do the best individual job possible.  Regardless if we’re a part of a team or not, when we’re a staff employee we really have one main concern – make sure our butts are protected by doing a great job.

Being in a management role is very different.  While it’s important the manager does a good job, she is also responsible for a number of direct reports and therefore is responsible for their contributions as well.  It can be a lot to shoulder if you aren’t prepared for it.  Next week we’ll be talking about this in great detail at an Orange County, CA based medtech event where women will share their stories of leadership and how they got to where they are today.  These stories are invaluable to understanding our own situation and potential career changes.

The transition to management can either be a dream come true or a living nightmare.  Regardless of which camp you may be in it’s important to consider two things before you make the decision to throw your hat in the ring for the next management opportunity:
  1. Companies fail to choose the candidate with the right talent for the job 82% of the time
  2. Do you have what it takes to be an effective leader?

What the statistic above from HBR and Gallup tells us is that it’s incredibly tough to make a good decision on who will be successful in a leadership role.  While the decision to hire or promote someone into a management role ultimate rests with the company, what happens thereafter is largely attributed to the individual in the role.  Let’s make no mistake about it, a move from staff level to management can be an incredibly rewarding opportunity but to be successful in the new venture you need to know beforehand if you’ve got the foundation for what it takes to be successful leading others.

Before you consider a career in management think about how you deal with these five foundational leadership questions:
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1.Do You Genuinely Care About Other People?
I’m going to take a hard stance here and simply say if you don’t care about others and aren’t willing to put others before yourself you’ll never be truly successful in leadership.  I choose the word ‘never’ because you may see some success early on however in the long run a lack of genuine care for the people will always bring about challenges which are near impossible to overcome.  The best leaders out there, regardless of their titles or the size of the company they work for, view leadership as an act of service and truly care about the wellbeing of their employees.  “Leaders eat last.” – Simon Sinek
 
2.How will you handle ‘The Technician Syndrome’?
This is particularly important for people in a technical capacity to consider.  The word ‘technician’ refers to a person who is in an individual contributor role focusing on hands-on work.  When you make a transition into management you are stepping away from some or most of your daily technical hands on duties.  There are some exceptions to this, for example if you work for a start-up or small company and are a ‘working executive’, however most of the time management roles focus their time and energy on their people and a strategy for getting work done.  People who have technical backgrounds tend to struggle with this change as often times their original passion which has guided them to this point in their career was focused on being hands-on in their role, creating, building or testing things. (a Mechanical Engineer that designs new products)
 
3.Are You An Influencer or a Dictator?
What is your natural working style when you are in situations where you are working with others?  Do you have a tendency to listen, support and coach or are you the type that would rather just tell people what to do?  Successful leaders do more listening than they do talking.  They understand the importance of giving their people an opportunity to contribute ideas, take risks, do things their own way, etc.  Managers that don’t do this have a hard time motivating their employees as they view their employees as workers who are to be told what to do, when to do and how to do their work.
 
4.Can You Delegate?
Can you give someone else an opportunity to take on a project or work?  Are you able to allow someone else the chance to take the spot light and recognition?  Do you trust others to get the job done?  These are all important questions which tie into delegation.  Successful leaders delegate frequently because they know firsthand that it isn’t wise or feasible for them to do everything.  Delegation also has a unique outcome which communicates trust and ownership to your employees whereas not delegating sends the exact opposite signal.
 
5.Are You Willing to be a Shrink?
It’s not the prettiest part of the job but a consideration nonetheless.  A very real part of management is dealing with people problems, like a shrink would, and working constantly in conflict resolution.  This aspect of the job often sends people screaming for the hills as dealing with people problems can be challenging and often viewed as a waste of time in the corporate world.  Successful leaders view the people interaction part of the job as an opportunity for improving themselves and their employees while further developing a deeper relationship.  They look forward to the moments to learn from, listen, coach and guide their employees.  They do this because they genuinely care about the welfare of their employees both at work and home.
 
Key Take Away:
Successful leaders all have one thing in common – they genuinely care about others, especially the people who work for them.  As a result, they utilize a servant leader mindset, operating side by side their teams leading through both words AND actions.
 
Action Item:
Perhaps you’re struggling to get in touch with how you feel about leadership and your own capabilities.  If so, find 2-3 people and interview them.  Ask them for their opinion and thoughts on how they think you would be as a leader.  Would you be successful in their eyes?  What blind spots or areas of improvement would you need to make in order to be successful leading others?  Once you have an idea for how others perceive you and the areas you potentially are good at and or struggle at you’ll have a better appreciation for how you would show up in the role.  From there it’s always good to read a couple leadership books to further understand if this career move is best for you.  Try out ‘Go-Giver’ by Bob Burg and John Mann or ‘True North’ by Bill George and Peter Sims.
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Monday Quickie - The Best Lesson I Learned About My Career

2/11/2019

 
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As we grow in our profession, we naturally pick up things here and there which aid us in operating as a professional.  These little nuances of professional life often times can’t be learned in a class room setting or text book, especially when it comes to behavioral tips like how to handle yourself in certain situations, shaking hands and introducing yourself at a networking event, overcoming challenges, etc.
 
Over the course of my career one of the best sources for information and perspective have come through mentors.  I’ve been blessed to have four (4) mentors throughout my adult life, each of them providing a different perspective and approach that I’ve been able to utilize to craft my own personal style of ‘me’.  For what it’s worth, I’m grateful beyond words to these four people for instilling in me valuable lessons about life, family, work and relationships.
 
Through these relationships I’ve learned a vital lesson that I will carry with me throughout my career, which is:
 
The only person responsible for your career is YOU.
 
Each one of my mentors have preached this lesson, using their own approach to reinstate the fact that we [you and I] are ultimately in charge of our own careers.  No one else.  Not our parents, not our teachers and certainly not our bosses.  It’s a universal truth I’ve tested now dozens of times and I still get the same outcome – it’s up to us, not them.
 
When we develop a mindset of self accountability we learn that it is in fact up to us [you] to drive our careers in the direction we want them to head. 
 
When people aren’t responsible for their own careers it shows up sounding like the following excuses: “my boss didn’t do anything for me”, “that’s not my job responsibility”, “I didn’t know I could do that”, “no one told me that was possible”, “that mistake wasn’t my fault” and on and on.
 
Casting aside the multitude of excuses we can drum up, once we learn it’s our ultimate responsibility to drive our careers it then becomes easier to ask for help while navigating the many facets of a career.  Once we ask for help and start getting it we remain in the drivers seat asking questions, following up and initiating conversation.  As a result we take responsibility for the outcomes.  What comes from this type of mindset and approach is an increasing attitude and desire to improve, learn and grow. 
 
Key Take Away:
Asking for help and guidance is a big step.  It means you want to improve yourself, congrats as you’re already ahead of many people around you.  When you ask for help from someone, whether that be a mentor, boss, teacher, friend, it’s up to you to drive that interaction.  It is your responsibility to drive the communication, follow up and request for direction.  Don’t sit back and wait for that person to do the work.  They are there strictly as advisors to give feedback and perspective, you must put in the time and effort.
 
Action Item:
Spend some time in a quiet place thinking about your own career and how you’ve gotten to where you are.  Happy with the present circumstances?  If you still have more you want to achieve go get yourself a mentor asap.  A good place to start is www.micromentor.org.  It’s a free service, one I wholeheartedly endorse. 
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Monday Quickie – How to Become A Consultant

1/8/2019

 
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For the past 13 years I’ve worked exclusively supporting Orange County, CA ecosystem of growing gigs (aka consultants, freelancers, etc).  It’s been a while ride to say the least with endless learning opportunities along the way!

During my time working with gigs and professionals alike I seem to find myself engaged in a variety of conversations having to do with professional guidance.  I’m certainly no career counselor but have witnessed enough over the years to have noticed more than a few trends with the path and decision making an average career takes.

One of the most consistent questions I get from people I’m interacting with is…
“How can I become a consultant [gig]?”

This question is interesting in of itself because the very statement overlooks a very important consideration: do we understand what the life of a full-time consultant is like?  And just as important, can I keep my full-time job and do consulting (aka freelancing, moonlighting, etc) on the side?  Lastly, why are you considering being a consultant in the first place? 

Before you start considering leaving your comfy desk job for the wild ride of becoming a career consultant spend time thinking about how you feel and perform with the following:
  1. SALES – every consultant that is successful understands this #1 fact – if you are going to be a consultant working on your own, or even freelancing for that matter, you’ll need to be able to sell yourself, doing so consistently. 
  2. NETWORKING – similar to sales, getting your name and service out there is paramount to customers finding out who you are and what you’re all about.  Networking is crucial because it helps builds trust among new relationships while building a wider circle of influence.
  3. RIDING the ROLLER COASTER – The life of a consultant if full of ambiguity, ups and downs.  One minute you’re deployed doing well with more work than you can handle, then next you’ve worked yourself out of a job and are scrambling to find the next project.  It’s common for projects to not be fully scoped out as the customer expects the consultant to come in and tell them what to do.  This inevitably leads to a certain amount of ambiguity and risk taking which furthers the roller coaster experience.

Key Take Away: Check yourself before you wreck yourself.  (thanks Ice Cube for that insightful lyrical melody)  Ice Cube was on to something here – before you jump into [consulting] spend time to learn about the life of a consultant and the realities that come with it. 

Action Item: Rather than leaving your day job, start your consulting experience by picking up a couple small jobs you can do on the side in the evenings or weekends.  This will give you a chance to learn how to interact with clients, manage projects and your time.  Do 3-4 projects then reassess those experiences, what you learned, how you performed and things to change for the future.  Once you’ve done that you’ll have a better perspective of the life of a consultant and whether or not its right for you.
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The #1 Thing That Will Change Your Career (It Isn’t Hard Work)

9/10/2018

 
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​The biggest fallacy in business: if I work hard I’ll eventually get to where I want to be.

​While hard work and a myriad of other competency-based characteristics are certainly important in growing ones career, they play second fiddle to the #1 most important thing that drives our careers.

Recently I found myself engaged in a discussion I hear all too often:

“I’ve been trying to land a job doing (insert job title) but I’m not getting any responses from my job applications online.”

This was coupled with:

“I’m trying to break into (insert industry) but I have no direct industry experience and am having a hard time with people taking my capabilities serious without industry experience.”

​Both of these situations and the people involved are experiencing the same thing – they haven’t built or leaned on the appropriate people to help them with their career quest.

Enter in the #1 career advancement driver: RELATIONSHIPS

The people which make up your professional ecosystem are ultimately the ones who will make the difference in your career, not just hard work.

Back to our scenario above.  Applying to jobs on the internet, or the black hole of death as I commonly refer to it, does have its merits, yet by no means are online job boards the best place to land your dream job.  Online job boards are built to do one thing and one thing well – weed people like you out.  According to Robert Meier, President of Job Market Experts, only 2% of candidates applying for jobs online actually get an interview.

My personal experiences have shown that many people find the online job board process frustrating, cumbersome and verging on a galactic time suck.

If we can’t rely on online job boards, what options do we have?  Enter back to the stage our good ole friend ‘Relationships’, our #1 suitor for career advancement.

Your education, hard work and perhaps charm will only take you so far.  Relationships, the people above you, below you and your peers, are the ones that stand to make the biggest impact in your career.  When we are in school, soon to graduate and looking for our first opportunity, it’s people that give us the chance, not necessarily our stellar academic performance.  Our grades may assist in getting us to the conversation however the driver behind making the decision is someone who wants to give you a shot. 

Same can be said in corporate America.  I remember the first time I was going for a management promotion.  My boss at the time told me, “it’s not the people above you that will promote you, it’s your peers and people who report to you.”  That really struck home because if my boss were to ask my peers and employees what they thought of me and the response he got was less than stellar the likelihood that feedback would impact my forward progress in my career is likely to be substantial.
When you’re neck deep in your career often times it’s who you know, not what you know.  The ‘who you know’ opens doors, ‘what you know’ helps you facilitate the work at hand, not landing the job itself.

What many professionals miss out on is the importance of building lasting professional relationships.
Not every relationship has the capacity to turn into something that is special and will impact your career however if carefully practiced and made a priority it is certainly possible several of your professional relationships overtime can produce fruitful results for both parties involved.

Why is it then people don’t spend more time and energy in building their ecosystem of professional relationships?

Answer: because it isn’t easy nor is it quick in producing results.

Relationships take time and investment.  The best relationships have a ‘pay-it-forward’ mentality where both people see the bigger opportunity to help one another without quid pro quo.  If you’ve ever read the book ‘Go Giver’ by Bob Burg, it also happens to be my favorite all time book on life and business, you know that relationships and the power of doing for others often times sets the stage for incredible life experience to come.  This of course is true in business.

Relationships are hard to foster over long periods of time.  It takes trust, consistency and energy.  Yet when done genuinely relationships have the power to open doors that may not have been available without it.

​If you’re read this and feel like it’s time for you to step up and grow your ecosystem of professional relationships follow these steps to get on the glory road of professional relationships.
1. Understand what your WHY is for building relationships? (most importantly, what can you offer to others in the process?)
2. Identify 2-3 professionals within your circle of influence, take each of them out to coffee for the purpose of building a better, tighter and more collaborative relationship
3. Go to industry networking events
4. Rinse and repeat (a couple in-person meetings or events is only the start; build into your schedule 2-3 times a month where you make it a priority to meet with people)
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Suffering from ‘Yes’ Syndrome? Here’s How to Fix It!

3/5/2018

 
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Have you found yourself saying ‘Yes’ to something at work and as you said it you wished you had said ‘No’? 

This sound familiar:

Coworker: “Hey Jezebel, we’re starting a new project team to [insert mindless crap you don’t want to do] and we need an extra person.  I know you’re swamped, it’s last minute and a bit outside your work but we could really use the help.”

Jezebel: [yes, this is you] “Oh I don’t know, I’m really busy with a lot of other projects.  I’m in over my head already.”

Coworker: “C’mon, we really could use your help.  We don’t have any other options and we can’t do it without you.  Plus, you’re good at running projects.  I’ll buy you lunch too!”

Jezebel: [still you] “Ughhh, okay fine.  Just let me know when we’ll start.”

Coworker: “Right now.”

Let’s be honest here – this has happened to all of us at one point or another, and I’ve been Jezebel on more occasions than I’d care to admit.  So why do we have such a hard time saying no at work?

Here’s are the nine most common reasons why we say yes at work when no is what we’re screaming from the mountain tops, silently in our heads of course:
  • We’re seeking approval
  • Wanting to belong
  • Cooperation/ Being a team player
  • Avoiding exclusion (FOMO)
  • Control
  • Self-Esteem, popularity, reputation
  • Fear
  • Guilt
  • Subjugation [all you people pleasers this is your calling card]

Saying yes when you really want to say no is indeed a problem.  According to the Harvard Business Review many of us say yes to avoid conflict at the office.  When we experience this it leaves us deflated, frustrated and stressed.  It can also lead to resentment between coworkers and an unhealthy work environment.  Sounds fantastic!

So how do we go about saying no while doing so professionally and politely?

Dr. Travis Bradley, author of the best-selling book ‘Emotional Intelligence 2.0’ and contributor for Forbes Magazine, summarizes the art of saying no beautifully in 5 steps:
  1. Find Your Yes [know what’s important to you]
  2. Sleep on It
  3. Sandwich the No Between Two Yeses
  4. Say No & Mean It [don’t beat around the bush]
  5. Be Prepared to Repeat Yourself [don’t let push back push your no to a yes]

When we say no our “ability to communicate ‘no’ really reflects you’re in the drivers seat of your own life.  It gives you a sense of empowerment.” – Vanessa Patrick, Prof at University of Houston

In theory this sounds fantastic.  It’s a new sense of self.  We’re walking tall and not going to take crap from no one.  We’re almost begging for an opportunity to show off our new ‘No’ skills.  Before you go off dodging and ducking everything that comes your way at the office make sure you keep in mind two things before you consider a ‘No’:
  1. Is this request important to my boss or the company?
  2. Will I gain experience that is helpful to my career by doing this?

If the answer to either of these questions is yes be sure to purposefully slow your decision making down and get introspective.   

​Making decisions about your career, involvement in work at the office, supporting your boss or other management and professional opportunities up for considered is no easy task.  It’s rarely a black and white decision as moments like this love to play in the gray area.  When you’re confronted with a tough decision and you feel like you want to say no quickly think about the two questions above, assess the situation then move forward with your answer.  If ‘No’ is still the right choice be sure to follow Dr. Bradberry’s advice to ensure your no lands as best as possible with your audience.
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    About the Author

    Travis Smith is the founder and managing director of Square-1 Engineering, a life sciences consulting firm, providing end to end technical project services to companies which design, develop and or manufacture products in Southern California.  He successfully served the life sciences marketplace in SoCal for over 15 years specializing in engineering services, consulting, project outsourcing and leadership development. In 2019 he was recognized as a ‘40 Under 40’ honoree by the Greater Irvine Chamber of Commerce as a top leader in Orange County, CA.

    Travis also serves as Chairman, Board of Directors for DeviceAlliance, the only Southern California based medical device non-profit professionals organization and member of the University of California Irvine's Division of Continuing Education Advisory Board for Medical Product Development.  He holds a business management degree from California State University Long Beach and is a graduate of the Southern California Entrepreneur Academy.

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