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​It’s common to think “I don’t have the job title which warrants me to be a leader”.
 
Early in my career I struggled with this exact mindset challenge.  I thought “if I don’t have a title which gives me the power to lead, how and why would anyone listen to me in the first place”.  This mindset is especially true and often found with people who are in individual contributor roles.  We use the excuse “I don’t have the title to lead” as our justification for not stepping up to taking action, even in times when we know it’s what is needed.
 
I was well into the third year of my career when a senior partner in our office pulled me aside and gave me some much needed advice.  Let’s put it this way, it was a thump on the head in a caring way.  What he said was simple, yet incredibly eye opening:
 
“Your job title doesn’t give you permission to lead or make you a good leader people will respect, it’s more about your ability to help others achieve their goals while having their backs.  We can lead from any role in the company, there’s no need to wait to be told you can lead or given a title which means people have to listen to you.  So, why are you waiting?”
 
Urghhh, he had a point, even though in the moment my ego still wasn’t allowing me to hear it.  After a couple days of digesting this feedback I had to admit I felt pretty dumb about the way I was thinking about leadership and my role within the company.  I had to get over my ego and the thought that I needed a title to justify my ability to lead when the reality was, and still is, good leaders are those who take action and help others.  They listen, guide and influence because they’re passionate about helping others, first.  This in turns builds trust, respect and comradery – these are the building blocks and keys to being a good leader.  Titles aside, those who can build trust with their colleagues gain respect which leads to healthier interactions.  These things are possible and certainly most achievable even if your job title doesn’t reflect management.
 
Whether you have the leadership job title or not what’s important are your actions and the intent behind why you do them.  Follow these steps to help guide you down the path of leading successfully:
 
1.Let Go of Fear – the basis for our lack of leadership is fear; fear we won’t do it right, fear people will reject us, fear we’ll look stupid in the process, etc.; once we acknowledge fear is what holds us back from doing what we know is right or what we want we then can go about changing our perspective to improve the situation

2.Build the Foundation - for what successful leadership is by reading “The Go-Giver” by Bob Burg and John David Mann

3.Reflect - on who you are as a person, professional, peer and employee of your company
a.What skill sets or areas of influence do you possess which you could use to positive impact, support or mentor others within the organization

4.Channel Your Vulnerability – good leaders understand this truth, to be trusted as a leader we must be vulnerable.  This doesn’t mean crying because the creamer when bad and ruined your coffee, it means being honest and open with your intent, your struggles and perspectives to help people see who you really are.  No leader is perfect.

5.Be a Coach – listen and guide as this is the pathway to good leadership; like the old proverb says “give a man a fish and they will eat for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime”

6.Act - start small and pick one person or department you believe you can positively impact; talk with that person or department to share with them your ideas and why you believe this would be of value to them, get their buy in before moving forward

7.Inform Management - Share with your manager the idea you have to help support and mentor others within the company,  .Be prepared to provide specifics on how this could positively impact the company

8.Consistency - implement a schedule you and your new mentee can follow which keeps you on track helping them achieve their goals, key thing here is to keep it natural don’t overdue it with processes and procedures

Last week I had an opportunity to attend an event where the topic of discuss was focused around conflict resolution and crisis management in the workplace.  The conversation was insightful while also delivering a simple message which is applicable to all walks of life – you’re always better off doing everything you can to avoid a conflict from happening rather than worrying about how to deal with it once it occurs.

Meaning, the time you invest in the beginning to avoid a major conflict from occurring is always far better than time you invest after the conflict has happened and now you’re trying to right the ship.

Every day brings about new challenges when it comes to working side by side with people and teams, especially if you’re in a leadership role.  Regardless of a persons’ ability in the leadership arena, it takes guts to be a leader as it’s far easier to be part of the staff than step out and stand on your own.  Leadership and its challenges come in a variety of forms and the method of leadership you choose when confronted with a challenge makes or breaks the outcome.  That’s a lot of pressure for a leader, especially when you are faced with a difficult situation.  Leadership is an evolving art form, incredibly difficult to master as it has a tendency to remind us often how hard leadership is based on the mistakes we make.  One thing is for certain, leadership is synonymous with conflict.

If conflict (or conflict resolution for that matter) is a natural part of being a leader, why is it so many leaders have a difficult time dealing with it?  For starters, few people enjoy conflict.  Life isn’t enjoyable when you’re neck deep in conflict on the daily.  It’s only natural that we have an innate tendency to steer clear of conflict, especially if it isn’t a life or death situation.  Unfortunately, when we avoid conflict, especially in the workplace, it makes things worse as those conflicts have a tendency to fester, growing in size and impact.  Rather than running from conflict, we should face it head on!

Another reason conflict is difficult to deal with is because we’re often dealing with people’s emotions, ideologies and perceptions.  We might not agree with them, or understand it for that matter, but the mark of being a good leader is setting aside your personnel beliefs and listening to the other person, truly hearing them out.  If we can’t listen and try to put ourselves in the shoes of the other person(s), coming to a resolution is nearly impossible as one party will often feel as if they weren’t heard or that they agreed to something they didn’t believe in in the first place.

Luckily if you step into conflict resolution with a strategy you’re far more likely to come out on the back end with a successful resolution.  The five keys to successful conflict resolution are as follows:

​Key #1 – Address Conflict Head On

Great leaders go into conflict willingly, not with the idea they’re going to change the world, but with the idea that they are going to listen and engage the people involved in an empathetic and caring manner.  When we choose to face adversity we have a better chance of coming out on the other end with a successful resolution, happier colleagues and a better work environment. 

Key #2 - Seek to Understand Before Being Understood

If you go into a difficult situation with your mind made up on ‘who did what’ it’s likely you’ll miss the bigger picture and leave your employees feeling like they weren’t heard, as if their side of the story doesn’t matter.  Withholding your personnel feelings in these moments is tough, but a necessity.  When we hear out everyone involved before coming to a conclusion we greatly increase our chance for making the right decision.  I humbly thank my former boss and mentor who taught me this valuable lesson.

Key #3 – Group Discussion

I made a vital mistake early on in my leadership career by listening to each party involved in the conflict I was attempting to mediate then making a decision thereafter without bringing everyone into the same room to squash the ‘he said, she said’ back and forth that often comes up during conflict in the workplace.  If you’re attempting to resolve a conflict between two parties and their stories are completely different from one another, or their account for their part in the situation differs from what’s being said on the other side, bring them both in for an open discussion.  When people have to speak up in front of the other person the conflict exists with you may find that their tune changes as they can’t make accusations that don’t add up or may be exaggerated.  As the old saying goes, “there are three sides to every story - her side, his side and the truth”. (this step may need to be excluded from your process if the conflict is of a serious nature having to do with sexual or discriminatory actions; if that is the case I strongly suggest you get a qualified HR representative or attorney involved immediately rather than trying to deal with the problem yourself)

Key #4 - Seek Advice

Let’s face it, no matter how good of a leader you are there will be times where obtaining advice from outsiders is beneficial.  A leader who asks for help, advice, or perspective from others shows the courage and willingness to want to make good decisions.  The key piece here is if you are going to seek advice on a sensitive situation it must be done from someone uninvolved, preferably outside the organization, this way you limit the blow back from internal gossip or side talk.  Outside feedback is valuable as people who are uninvolved often provide clarity or perspective to tough situations that is difficult to see when you’re in the middle of the conflict.

Key #5 – Explain Your Decision & Ask for Feedback

When dealing with conflict resolution, once you come to the point where a decision is made it is vital to explain the WHY behind your decision to the people or parties involved.  Once you have explained to everyone involved what your decision is you should then seek their feedback to better understand how your decision has landed with those involved.  Be prepared!  It’s possible not everyone will be thrilled with your decision but if you explain the process you took to come to that conclusion and stick to your guns thereafter you show that your ability to resolve conflict is one of process and care for each party involved.

Conflict resolution is a necessary part of being a leader.  The more we willingly involve ourselves in conflict and the process it takes to navigate to a resolution the better you’ll be as a leader in dealing with conflict the next time around. 

Key Take Away
The two best things you can do to help yourself be more comfortable in dealing with conflict resolution is to practice your listening skills and get yourself a mentor or advisor.  The skill of listening is an incredibly important component to have when addressing conflict resolution.  Listening helps us understand different perspectives while tempering our eagerness to jump to conclusions.  Listening also allows us to pause and think, rather than react.
Mentors, I’ve said it a dozen times and I’ll say it again, this may be one of the top things you can do to help grow your career.  Mentors, advisors and coaches help provide perspective, often times an unbiased perspective to help us see the bigger picture.  This time of insight is invaluable, especially when dealing with high pressure situations. 

Action Item
Simply put – find yourself a mentor if you don’t already have one.  Successfully addressing conflict resolution is an art best learned by people who have been there and done it before.  No need to reinvent the wheel when you can learn from others who have been there and done it before.  Their successes and failures are life learning lessons that are pure goal to people who seek knowledge and wisdom to improve their own careers.  If you don’t have a mentor find one NOW!  Ask someone you respect or go to micromentor.org.

As we grow in our profession, we naturally pick up things here and there which aid us in operating as a professional.  These little nuances of professional life often times can’t be learned in a class room setting or text book, especially when it comes to behavioral tips like how to handle yourself in certain situations, shaking hands and introducing yourself at a networking event, overcoming challenges, etc.
 
Over the course of my career one of the best sources for information and perspective have come through mentors.  I’ve been blessed to have four (4) mentors throughout my adult life, each of them providing a different perspective and approach that I’ve been able to utilize to craft my own personal style of ‘me’.  For what it’s worth, I’m grateful beyond words to these four people for instilling in me valuable lessons about life, family, work and relationships.
 
Through these relationships I’ve learned a vital lesson that I will carry with me throughout my career, which is:
 
The only person responsible for your career is YOU.
 
Each one of my mentors have preached this lesson, using their own approach to reinstate the fact that we [you and I] are ultimately in charge of our own careers.  No one else.  Not our parents, not our teachers and certainly not our bosses.  It’s a universal truth I’ve tested now dozens of times and I still get the same outcome – it’s up to us, not them.
 
When we develop a mindset of self accountability we learn that it is in fact up to us [you] to drive our careers in the direction we want them to head. 
 
When people aren’t responsible for their own careers it shows up sounding like the following excuses: “my boss didn’t do anything for me”, “that’s not my job responsibility”, “I didn’t know I could do that”, “no one told me that was possible”, “that mistake wasn’t my fault” and on and on.
 
Casting aside the multitude of excuses we can drum up, once we learn it’s our ultimate responsibility to drive our careers it then becomes easier to ask for help while navigating the many facets of a career.  Once we ask for help and start getting it we remain in the drivers seat asking questions, following up and initiating conversation.  As a result we take responsibility for the outcomes.  What comes from this type of mindset and approach is an increasing attitude and desire to improve, learn and grow. 
 
Key Take Away:
Asking for help and guidance is a big step.  It means you want to improve yourself, congrats as you’re already ahead of many people around you.  When you ask for help from someone, whether that be a mentor, boss, teacher, friend, it’s up to you to drive that interaction.  It is your responsibility to drive the communication, follow up and request for direction.  Don’t sit back and wait for that person to do the work.  They are there strictly as advisors to give feedback and perspective, you must put in the time and effort.
 
Action Item:
Spend some time in a quiet place thinking about your own career and how you’ve gotten to where you are.  Happy with the present circumstances?  If you still have more you want to achieve go get yourself a mentor asap.  A good place to start is www.micromentor.org.  It’s a free service, one I wholeheartedly endorse. 
​

How often do you hear someone say “I’m going to be (or am at present) great at my job”, yet when you begin to peel back the onion we learn the difference between being great professionally in the spoken word is often VERY different than being great in action and execution.

​Why is this?  For starters, it’s easy to say we want to be great in our career, achieving success along the way.  Make lots of money, have the prestigious title, corner office and be free in all sense of the word.

What isn’t so easy or talked about enough is what it actually takes to be successful in a career.  It’s also worth noting that success can be very different from one person to the next.

Behind the scenes, successful careers always have three things in common:
1. failure and set backs
2. strong work ethic
3. support

The reason why there is a discrepancy between the ‘talk and action’ paradigm to a successful career is it just isn’t easy to be successful.  If it was easy to be great in your career, reaching monumental levels, everyone would do it.  Yet, the reality is not everyone is interested in putting in that kind of work ethic or commitment, regardless of what their mouths may say.

Of the three commonalities which make up a successful career the one I’ve found to be most influential is #3: SUPPORT.  Most people who have reached success in their career will tell you they didn’t do it alone; what is common is to hear these people talk about others who have influenced them, guided them and been a shoulder to cry on during the hard times.

Want to become unstoppable in your career?  Get a MENTOR!

No matter where you are in your career having a mentor is highly advisable as it can be the difference between you navigating the waters of a successful career versus drowning in the murky depths of the rat race.  Mentors aren’t just strategic career advisers, they’re the professional voice of reason whispering notes of encouragement, big picture perspective and even accountability.

Mentors provide highly valuable insight and support to professionals of all ages, such as:
1. Business savvy
2. External perspective
3. Confidant (listener/ sounding board)
4. Accountability
5. Comfort zone demolishers

Key Take Away:  Mentors have the ability to guide you through the peaks and valleys of your career while providing you with insight that will help make important career-based decisions.

Action Item:  Put together a list of the attributes you would like to get help with in your professional career and the ideal type of person that could help you with it.  Check out www.micromentor.org for access to thousands of professionals interested in getting connected with you to help guide you on your professional journey.  Micromentor is a non-profit organization that acts like an online dating service paring people who are interested in mentoring with people who need a mentor.  I’ve been connected with a mentor now for almost 3 years and it was one of the best decisions I ever made in my professional career.

​I had always wanted to start a business!

For years I tried my hand at inventing stuff, products that I thought would get me rich, if I could only sell a few million of them.  First it was a gaming chair, then workout towels and even a handheld flashlight projector.  I laugh looking back on those days while in college and the years shortly thereafter at some of the absurd things I did to try and be entrepreneur. 

​What I would eventually find out are those ideas didn’t work out not because they were bad ideas necessarily but because I was following the wrong dream.

It wasn’t until the summer of 2015 that I would find my way, diving head first into entrepreneurship.  Thankfully I had a lot of help from many close people around me (wife, parents, friends) who all were incredibly supportive, as without them I’m not sure I would be here today. 

With the first year of entrepreneurship under the belt I’m continually amazed at how much I’ve learned and how much I continue to learn about being an entrepreneur and business in general.  These are the eight experiences I’ve had which made the biggest impact being an entrepreneur:

1.Get A Mentor
This is the single second best decision you’ll ever make in business.  The first best decision is to become an entrepreneur.  Mentors have experience which you can learn from helping you avoid mistakes along the way. 

2.Support Gets You Over The Hump
Make sure those close to you understand your vision and support it.  They don’t have to buy in 100% but if it’s you against the world there are going to be some very long nights in store.  If you are married it’s vital your spouse understands the opportunity and supports it, even in the down times.

3.Some Things CAN Wait
Some people will tell you it’s important to write a business plan, vision, mission, blah blah blah, right away.  Unless you’re in a situation where you need to ask for capital to start the business the best thing to do is put those things aside and focus all your efforts on how to make money.  Ultimately being an entrepreneur means you’re selling something to someone so the more time you spend on how you’re going to gett paid for the product or service you’re providing the better off you’ll be.

4.You Can’t Be Everything To Everyone
I failed miserably here.  When I did start to get customers I tried to offer everything under the sun to get their business.  Now, I never over promised and under delivered, however I spent an exorbitant amount of time in areas that weren’t lucrative or didn’t align ultimately with what the companies direction was.

5.Having A Plan-B Is Dangerous
I’ve read countless articles about “the power of having a ‘plan-B’ ” or an alternative course of direction.  I hate that advice.  As an entrepreneur if you don’t believe in what you’re doing and have a plan-B set up in case you fail you’re almost destined to set yourself up for disappointment.  I’m not saying it’s not important plan ahead for bumps in the road but if you’re going to start a business that should be your one and only focus.  Anything other than a mentality of success has no place in your new direction.  Visualize to materialize.

6.Outsource Work
The first several months I attempted to handle all the accounting and finance portions of the business only to realize two things: 1 – I’m not good at it nor do I like it; 2 – I created more problems than I remedied.  Best advice I got was to pay the money to get a good CPA that understood our business and could help us scale it up by making good decisions.  Best money I’ve ever spent was on our CPA.

7.The Power Of Saying ‘No’
Crucial to your success as an entrepreneur is the ability to politely and professionally say ‘no’.  Similar to ‘you can’t be everything to everyone’ saying ‘no’ is harder than it sounds.  Naturally you want to say yes to everyone, making everyone around you happy, especially if it’s a customer.  Unfortunately when we do this we get pulled in a hundred directions which causes us to deviate from our destined course.  If you are asked to do something and it doesn’t align with your top 2 or 3 priorities politely decline and thank the person for the opportunity to be considered.

8.Breathe, It’ll Be Okay
Very few things in life actually have the ability to stop you from moving forward in your new business.  When bumps in the road momentarily derail you (you will experience plenty of bumps along the way) take a deep breath and be thankful for the opportunity to learn and grow as a professional.  Stephen Covey put it best when he gave us the 90/10 principle:
 
“10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% of life is decided by how you react.” – Stephen Covey